Just For Fun - Remembering Childhood Joys

What happened to me? Where did I go and what have I become? More importantly, HOW did I let myself get to this.

I just read one of my daily inspirational emails titled "Just For Fun - Remembering Childhood Joys" and I immediately thought about something that happened to me this past weekend.

It was the day after Thanksgiving (Black Friday) and we were headed to Target so I was expecting the worst. It may have been different if just before getting out of the car Scott hadn't commented on something (I can't remember what) but then promptly finished the statement with "go ahead and argue" and I was like "what are you talking about?" followed by "YOU are the one who argues about everything" and then Scott said "I think you think that I am the one who argues about everything but it's actually you" Anyway, that set the tone for our Black Friday Target trip.

Surprisingly enough it wasn't crowded at all like it usually is the day after Thanksgiving but given the fact that I was already super annoyed and now trying to think of every conversation I have ever had with everyone in the world over my entire life to figure out if I do argue with everyone every time anyone says something.

Ok, so there was this boy pushing who I assume to be his little sister in a shopping cart. they were all over the place, sliding from one isle to the next. Skidding the cart back and forth and I was getting increasingly more and more annoyed. So this little boy (Maybe 10 years old) was now speeding up, slowing down, speeding up, slowing down then BAM!!! out of nowhere I push my cart into him. WTF!!! The kid is like 10 years old and I am 41.

Really???

Has it come to this???

Of course that was followed by the kid looking back at me not like I was a big o asshole but more like "Gee Mister, I was just trying to have fun with my little sister and thought it was totally harmless and didn't think I was bothering anyone and I'm really sorry me being a child has totally f'kd up your universe"

Now that I totally wanted to crawl into a hole and just curl up and die when round 2 hit. Scotty said "OMG you totally did that on purpose" followed by "That was really mean" all while having the troubled and concerned look on his has that said "who the hell are you anyway"

The ironic thing is, is that I went to Target to get stuff to bake cookies to give to people over the Holidays. Talk about Holiday Cheer!

I came into work this morning and my "Daily Om" reads:

November 28, 2008
Just For Fun
Remembering Childhood Joys

As adults, we often get so caught up in "grown up" business that we can forget how to have pure fun. This is not the kind of fun that comes from doing a specific kind of activity or being in a specific mood for fun. Rather, this is the fun born from the state of pure being. You see this kind of fun in small children who are so busy being fully present to their lives and in their own bodies that the glow of fun radiates from them just because they are alive.

Of course the first thing I think about is the boy and the shopping cart and the fact that I sat in the bathroom crying once I got home.

I would like to blame everyone, ANYONE else but the truth is I either I need to own it, let it go, or move on.

The last part of the "Daily Om" reads"

Pure fun happens when we are fully engaged with ourselves and our world in each moment. It is the spontaneous delight that bubbles out of us when we let go long enough to bring it through; it is the experience of natural, organic pleasure that springs up from our bellies, through our souls, up through our faces, and down to our toes. We’ve naturally known how to have pure fun since we were babies and the flicker of lights caused us to jump to attention from the sheer enjoyment of being able to see. Approach your life today with the knowledge that pure fun isn’t something that is given or done to you; rather, it is something that you allow yourself to experience.

I will find my way back even if it means running over a 10 year old with a shopping cart at Target except this time it will be because I racing WITH him.

Much Peace and Love...
Reeeshar