WOW! I can't believe I moved to Minnesota 10 years ago this year. I remember my first priority after finding a job was to find a Pride group. I wasn't against going to the bars but I had learned that if I was going to meet people that would become "friends" then I would have to find them in places other than a bar.
Thinking back, I am very fortunate having grown up in Northern California but I suppose it depends on the way you look at it. I never REALLY had to"Come out" and everything as I know it is pretty much the way it always has been. I have never had to fight for or been denied any kinds of rights. I grew up in a community that was very diverse so I have always known that people were people and never been exposed to anyone not liking or even hating someone based on their color, religious views, sexual orientation, etc. It was all about who had the better car, was wearing the latest style or who made the most money and a lot of that really hasn't changed.
I met my first partner in 1985, moved to Southern California and went to my first GLBT Pride Parade and I was shocked, scared, curious and in awe over the amount of people crying during the parade and I didn't understand why. I finally realized that in between the scantily clad men on floats from various bars were groups of people holding up pictures of friends,family members, partners, neighbors etc. that had been beaten just because they fought for their rights, our rights, MY rights. the rights that I completely took for granted.
Tears also flowed when the HIV/AIDS Service Organizations and activist groups went by and even though I myself was diagnosed with HIV in 1984(less than a year prior) it was terrifying yet eye opening to see this group of people called "Act Up" come marching along making all kinds of ruckus and then just stop in a dead silence, followed by half of the group dropping to the ground and the other half outlining their bodies in chalk and then they just stayed there in the silence laying on Santa Monica Blvd until the voices in megaphones shouted "pay attention.Act Up" and the people crawled out of there chalk outlined silhouettes and wrote messages inside the shells of what was once them laying in the street that said."ME". "YOU". "MOM". "DAD". "BROTHER". "SISTER". FRIEND". "PARTNER."
Years have gone by but that day will remain in my memory like it was yesterday. It's part of the reason that I got involved with Pride Organizations in the first place.
It is now June 28, 2008 (23 years later) and I am sitting here alone in a very nice, very expensive hotel the night before I am to create the Grandstand and V.I.P. area for the 3rd largest GLBT Pride Celebration in the country. One of my Best friends from California is here visiting and is at home with my partner since I have to be out on Hennepin Avenue at 5am to start my day. I have had about 4 hours of sleep in the last 3 days and although my intention was to be asleep by 8pm, as I was finally drifting off to sleep about 10pm I realized **FUCK** the bin of Pride (which consists of a giant plastic bin that holds so many Rainbow Flags you could pretty much gay up an entire coliseum) is still at our house and my car is at the Festival. Thankfully my partner was home and able to bring them to me to the hotel. But I digress!!!
But what does it all mean now? All over the world there are GLBT Pride Celebrations sponsored by HUGE Corporations. People of all races, genders and sexual orientations dance and celebrate together.
I have often wondered if it really matters to anyone if Pride celebrations actually serve a purpose anymore. I went to here Amistad Maupin speaklast week and he made a statement about HIV Education and how pissed off he was because how much more education do people need before they realize that HIV/AIDS is real, it does affect everyone and you can get it, even if it is "Your 1st time".... again.
We have come so far and yes, I know there is still a long way to go but I just wondered if Pride celebrations is the way to get there. I think I started asking myself these questions when people/friends asked me "Why do you do this to yourself?" and I would often just smile and nod because I never really had a good answer and just knew it's what I wanted and needed to do. But I have been thinking about it more and more and I realized that that was it; I do it because we are"MORE," More than G.L.B.T.Q or any other letter you want to attach to us, more than the stereotypical interior designers, great cooks, people with great hair or fashion consultants because trust me I have my share of friends that can't put 2 socks together and make em match to save theirlife, but we are just MORE. We are auto mechanics, auditors, Politicians or anything we want to be. We are proud to be whatever letter is attached to us or we attach to ourselves. We have good days and bad days like anyone else, we have children, we have houses, we pay taxes, we are equal and we are proud and yes we do still need Pride Festivals.
It was a really long night and weekend of hard work and reflection and of all the years I have worked or volunteered on or with Pride committees I feel more confidant than ever that I am where I need and want to be. A friend of mine asked me once "If not us, than who?" and I realized he is right.
Live, Love and Laugh often,
Richard
Not sure if this link will work but if it does, here are some pictures of TC Pride 2008
P.S. The following letter was sent in from the Mother of a young man that had recently come out that again completely reinforced that I am where I need to be.
To Twin Cities PRIDE board,
I am a 47 year old happily married straight mom of 4. When my one soncame out a year ago (although I'd known for years without him tellingme-parents must just know these things!) we wondered as a family what wecould do to support him in his life journey without any condemnation, criticism, or discrimination. We knew he would get those things from theworld, but we wanted to make sure he was well-loved at home and homewould be a place too where he could be who he was created to be. Our dooris open to anyone important in his life and we recently, gratefully havehosted his boyfriend fora weekend and we adore him too! I found myself involved in a GSA group atour local high school and then volunteered for a few things, the PRIDEevent the biggest. I had no idea how I would be forever changed prior toPRIDE. What I saw on Saturday, while walking around the grounds, was aspiritual awakening for me. How could this wonderful community accept me(straight) just as I am, when I (and I'm talking 20 years ago I felt likethis) did not accept them just as they were? I've come a long way, but myfeelings of any "me" and "them" were forever changed to "us".We're all in this together, straight or GLTB. What a NONISSUE. I feltlike the welcome mat was rolled out for me in almost every booth I stoppedat, chatted it up with people and really got to know some of the strugglesof the GLTB community. I was moved to volunteer now with those sufferingand struggling with AIDS and help even more to love unconditionally. We're ALL children of our creator. I think the straight community is wayscrewed up!!!!!!!!!!! Anyway, I helped on Sunday as a volunteer with theparade, and even though I had a mass of stitches in my upper leg, I wasable to get around but mostly rode with Andi, the volunteer coordinator. I can't imagine another person in this position-what a RIOT! ROCK ONANDI! Anyway, at 10:59 we had our golf cart at the beginning of theparade and in the midst of a chaotic 1 minute trying to find 2 people tocarry the LEAD banner, it ended up to be me on one side and a wonderfulyoung woman on the other. We started the parade and I just prayed "Godget me through with my leg not hurting". Starting the first block (nowI'm talking the LEAD banner, the one that introduces the parade to people,the 2008 PRIDE parade banner) my heart started pumping and tears came tomy eyes instantly. I was sobbing, and was like "where did that come from"and then I realized I was proud. I cry as I write this-I am so very, veryproud of my son, my entire family for wrapping their arms around him inlove, being a part of something that's so big it's on a spiritual leveland ME, A STRAIGHT MOM FROM A TINY TOWNIN NORTHERN MINNESOTA WHERE I PROBABLY WOULD HAVE BEEN SHOT ON SIGHT(that's exaggerating a little, but not much) TO CARRYING TO LEAD BANNER INTHE 2008 PRIDE PARADE? I tell ya, I was more touched and moved than youcan even believe. I did stop crying and decided to enjoy one of thebiggest moments in my life, but cried all the way home and have cried onand off this week, I was so moved. There are no words. I get what PRIDEmeans now. Even as a straight woman, I understand PRIDE. Maybe not onthe same level as somebody else, but I got it in my own way. Thank youfor a heck of a time Andi, and all of you volunteers? You put your heartand soul into it. What an event. What coordination. Never seen anythinglike it....there was a photo of me on WCCO that I found and I've probablysent it to 50 of my friends. I guess I lost a couple of friends becauseof it (isn't THAT DUMB???!!! They should volunteer next year..maybe itwould open their eyes...) but who cares about that. I have like 50 newfriends just from this past weekend and I will be there next year andplease, can I be the banner carrier again? Thank you, all of you. Yougave this old lady "a moment" in life that I hope is etched on mytombstone. "She carried the banner, and was proud doing so". God'sblessings to each and every one of you.
I am a life that was changed.....Michelle B.
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